29 Apr Spring Romance: Lace Dress, White Blazer, and Pink Pumps [Plus Dreams of a Judgment Free World]
I wore this dress to my friend Becky’s wedding in Hawaii last winter and really loved it. The best part? I picked it up the day before for maybe $30 at a Forever 21. I never believe on wearing anything just once (except for maybe my wedding dress), so I thought I’d restyle it for when I attend a spring or summer evening wedding.
Blazer: Robert Rodriguez
Shoes: Christian Louboutin
Bag: Rebecca Minkoff
Generally, I think it’s a always a winning combination when you pair something feminine and romantic (like a lace dress) with more structured pieces (like a blazer). You see bloggers like Wendy from Wendy’s Lookbook and Blair from Atlantic Pacific do this often. To make it your own, just pick your favorite pieces to mix and match. It’s really pretty straightforward and easily customizable to you. I feel like this outfit pretty much tells the story of who I am.
Growing up, I never really had the opportunity to tell that story. My parents were first generation immigrants and fashion was seen as a luxury we just couldn’t afford. I was dressed in a combination of second hand clothes plus cheap clothes from China that were just too “weird” for American standards. And as a result, I did feel ostrasized and sometimes even bullied for being different. Other kids would judge me for my clothes, un-Caucasian facial features, “strange” parents, etc.
Today, I’m way more comfortable owning who I am (and am not!) ad typically not give a care about what others think. But I find that sometimes, others still find a way to judge me in unkind ways and make me feel really uncomfortable. Recently, my friend Joana and I were talking about how we were both “salary shamed” for choosing to accept jobs that didn’t pay $X amount–people told us how unreasonable this amount was and assumed that we never tried to stand up for ourselves and negotiate for more. I was shocked that rather than congratulating us on going against the tide and doing something we really love, we were called out for somehow selling ourselves short, as if money is the only indicator of our abilities or worth.
I know it’s probably naive to ask for this, but I really wish we lived in a world where there was more inquiry rather than judgment to understand why people make the choices they do. Moreover, I think it’s important to realize and be respectful of the fact that not everyone has the same values or background, and people who don’t automatically believe what we do are not unreasonable. It’s on each of us to stop judging others–whether it’s for a decision to have/not have children, work 100 hours a week or 40, or to vote /not vote for the Donald. Don’t you think that would make the workplace, society, and world a better place?